Guide To Interpreting Women Based On Their Tattoos
Credit: Tattoo Banget Use this handy guide to determine whether or not the tattooed lady you've been eyeing is a safe bet, or a psychological hurricane. Three or more green flags, you're in the clear. Three or more red flags: proceed with caution! PLACEMENT Green Light
LOWER LEGS, BEHIND THE EAR, ABDOMEN
Credit: Girl Tattoos These are "safe" areas. If you're looking for someone who lives a little dangerously, but whom you can still take home to mom, you're in the clear. Red Light
INSIDE LIP, FACE/NECK, KNUCKLES
Credit: Tattoo Spit Tattoos in these areas indicate a relative disregard for one's future, and employment opportunities limited to hairdresser and Suicide Girl. They also indicate a poor or non-existent relationship with one's father. STYLE Green Light
CLASSIC OR CONTEMPORARY
Credit: Tumblr Classic tattoos, like an anchor or a flower, indicate she's probably safe. Seeing something contemporary like a bird or an ice cream cone indicates she's probably an elementary school art teacher, and also safe. Red Light
ABSTRACT OR TRENDY
Credit: Tattoo Art Gallery Abstract art and indecipherable symbols may indicate overly-adventurous college years. Barbed wire, tribals and Chinese symbols might as well be road flares. QUALITY Green Light
CLEAN LINES, GOOD COLOR, PORTRAITS THAT RESEMBLE THEIR SUBJECTS
Credit: Ryory Good tattoo work usually indicates a person did their homework and paid good money for that ironic Bill Murray portrait that actually looks like Bill Murray. Red Light
FADING LINES, BAD COLOR, PORTRAITS THAT RESEMBLE WAX FIGURES
Credit: Flickr Anything that looks like it may have been done by an aspiring artist/fellow inmate is a big red flag. QUANTITY Green Light
A FEW SMALL ONES, OR ONE LARGE ONE
Credit: Fashion 4 Chill A moderate amount of smaller tattoos, or one large piece, indicate a healthy selectiveness. Red Light
A TON OF SMALL ONES, MULTIPLE LARGE ONES
Credit: Tattoo Expo If her arms look like a sticker-covered skateboard deck, or a Lisa Frank trapper-keeper, keep moving. Double full sleeves or entire Renaissance paintings across the back will only temporarily distract you from the emotional roller-coaster ride she'll eventually take you on. CONTENT Green Light
CLASSIC SYMBOLS, SHORT QUOTES, ANIMALS
Credit: Pieway Renderings of real animals such as a tiger or a horse are perfectly OK. A line or two from a favorite author could indicate a bit of pretentiousness, but overall, it's safe territory. Red Light
BAND NAMES, DUDES' NAMES, MYTHICAL CREATURES
Credit: Will Rise Studio Nobody likes Third Eye Blind or their first boyfriend forever, and sane people have the foresight not to claim it permanently. Also, unicorns and dire wolves indicate forced "adorkability," which is often used to mask serious instability. + Follow MTV Clutch on Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook ...
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