Algonquin Round Table

PARKER: The year was 1920. I was working as an editor at Vanity Fair Magazine with Robert Benchley and Robert Sherwood. We pulled many hi-jinks – such as wearing signs around our necks displaying our weekly salaries. Our boss didn't like that much.
GREAT MINDS ALWAYS THINK ALIKE
Though we may tend to disagree.
And if there's ever any question, they look to me.
Benchley, Sherwood and I took lunch each day at the
Algonquin hotel. We'd laugh and gossip and argue...
What took you so long, Dorothy?
I was detained in the bathroom. Well, I was actually making a telephone call only I'm too embarrassed to tell you.

You're always late, Dottie Darling.
That's not entirely true. I was two months pre-mature
when I arrived into this world.
That was the last time you were early for anything. (Laughter)
In time, anybody who was anybody vied for a chair at the Round Table. And of course the new people we invited felt as if they had died and gone to hell.
You're at the table, waiting for your chance
to speak.
You hear a lull. You jump right in there!

The words you say may go down in history.
Don't blow it, we won't ask you back again.
Brain, please don't fail me.
Dessert is here!
I'm filled with fear!
I'm only one quote down!
"The trouble with incest is it gets you involved with your relatives."
Let's play that word game.
Alright, choose a word!
Horticulture.
"You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think!
Wonderful!
You're not wearing your glasses today, Dottie.
"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."
You deserve a drink for that one, Dottie dear.
"One more drink and I'll be under the host!" (Laughter)
Marvelous!
Personally, I believe in monogamy.
hat's a fine wood, 'mahogany'.
Monogamy, you know, having relations with only my wife.
Oh, you mean 'monotony'! (Laughter)
Eventually I was fired from Vanity Fair for writing too many cutting reviews. Benchley and Sherwood quit in
Protest. "It was the greatest act of friendship I had known."
They were a rare breed, those Algonquinites! There was: Robert Benchley, Robert Sherwood, Oscar Levant, Jascha Heifetz, Herman Mankiewitz, Edna Ferber, Noel Coward, FPA, Heywood Broun, Ring Lardner, Alexander Woollcott. The list goes on.
Here we have a meeting of Great Minds!
Long live the ALGONQUIN ROUND TABLE!