Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl

So I dunno if we can pull this off
I mean, we wrote and rehearsed it in under 20 minutes
But, if we do, it's because we did it together, all of us
That's exactly what people say before they make a baby, I think
Okay, well, without any further ado
We present to you the musical rom-com slash action thriller, "Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl!"

Oh, no! We're a bunch of secretaries, from New York, held hostage in Nakatomi Towers
Shush! I'm Karl, da one with beautiful hair!
I'm Hans Gruber, consider yourself grubed
Tess McGill can't let a bunch of terrorists ruin her dream
I hope the police come soon
Ow, glass hurt John McClane's feet

I'm Agent Johnson, and I'm Agent Johnson
And we're from the FBI
I'm John, he's Johnson, he's John, I'm Johnson!
Two fancy-footed federal guys
I might just be a local cop, but will you guys back off me?
Things are getting pretty tense, does anybody want coffee?

You know, we're not so different, you and I
We're both ambitious, Hans
Tess McGill, you've stolen this Gruber's heart
Like I'm stealing these bearer bonds

I cracked the co-oh-oh-oh-de!
So here's the bearer bonds, which is the same as money I guess
Hey, let's make that radio deal! Hip hop? Hip hop!

Mwah! That's not in the script!
Just go with it, they love it! No
Is that two rows of teeth I'm feeling?
My baby teeth never fell out
And Jack Trainer and I are a couple now as well, so that's good
Hip hop! Hip hop!

Hans, you're feeling love's great power
But now I gotta push you off the tower!
Come here! I'm gonna get you, come on!
Ah!

I'm so mad about my brother so I kill you about it!
No! Ah! Thanks, Al!
If only there was a place where we could all be happy and not get killed

Maybe there's a tower, somewhere up above
Filled with bearer bonds and love, where dreams don't die hard
Maybe there's a tower, somewhere up above
Filled with shoulder pads and love, where dreams can fly hard
But until we can live in that imaginary world
We'll work hard or die trying, girl

Yes, yes, woo! Oh my god, Carly Simon?
Who? Oh, sorry, you-you like Carly Simon
You look like Carly Simon, but it's a compliment, back off, sorry, jeez
I smell a Tony, which is also what happens to be what I call my farts

Work hard
Or die trying, girl (ooh)
You work hard, you die hard
Work hard (work hard! Come on, come on! Oh)
Or die drying, girl
You work hard, you try hard

Work hard (ooh)
Or die trying, girl (yeah)
You work hard, you die hard
Work hard (no, no, no, no, no)
Or die trying, girl (whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa)