Anything You Can Do

Any part you can play, I can play better
I can play any part better than you
No, you can't
Yes, I can
No, you can't
Yes, I can
No, you can't
Yes I can, yes I can

Any laugh you can get, I can get bigger
I can get any laugh as big as yours
With one look
With a glance
Till the cry
Wet their pants
Till they roar
Till they soar, I'll get more

I could belt a D flat and I'll never be flat
I don't have to warm up, I can act a storm up
I can do a concert tour
With hip-hop and rap?
Well, after a nap

Any house you can build, I can build better
I can build any home grander than yours
With great taste
With ten johns
With restraint
Lots of bronze, with a mood and a wall
With a mall?
With a mall?

In any comedy, I can be crasser
I can be cruder and crasser than you
With a belch
With a burp
With a shrug
With a slug, you're too clean
Well I'm just not obscene

You're a dirty talker
You played mother Focker
Bridesmaids' a keeper
Princes' Eyes a weeper
We agree on quite a lot
Hey, let's make amends
Yeah, we should be friends

Anything men can do, we can do better
Anything men can do, we can do too
Steal a scene
Stop the show
Fill the seats, SRO
Have a child with a man, yes we can

We were underrated, teased and deprecated
But we sent 'em reeling through the glass ceiling
There is nothing we can't do
Well, can you bake a pie?
No
Neither can I
You know, anything I can do, we can do better
We can do anything better as two
Make chick flicks
Buddy picks
As a team, we're a dream
You're the bun (Huh?)
You'll be great!
Really
As my mom
Your mom, don't you mean sister?

I'm your fan, yes we can, yes we can
Yes we can