Flat Earth Theme

I met a girl named Bertha
She said she was a flat earther
On her way to the conference
I said, "you know that that's nonsense?"
She said, "this shit's not nonsense,"
"You don't even know,"
"Have you heard my silence?"
I said, "what about science?"
And she said, "science don't give me no love"
I got talking to Linda
She was out on a bender
Flickin' through Tinder
I said, "how's that working for you?"
She said, "it's not working,"
"It's regret and embarrassment lurking,"
"But it's late and I'm lonely and hurting,"
"And where else can I get me some love?"

Holding on for dear life
Always the bridesmaid but never the bride
A billion tiny islands in the ocean
All these characters I dream
Variations on a theme
Variations on a theme
Variations on a theme

I met a boy called Casper
He's a worldwide traveller
Talking about ayahuasca
As he stares into his pasta
He said, "I probably shouldn't fly so much,"
"Probably shouldn't get high so much,"
"But I'm a lonely hedonist and my therapist says"
"I need to find ways to love myself"
How could I forget Brian
Opened the floodgates without even trying
I missed my stop on that train
'Cause I got a lot of time for a grown man crying
He said, "she loves me and I love him and he loves she"
Still spinning a bottle on the topmost shelf
And looking for love like everyone else

Holding on for dear life
Always the bridesmaid but never the bride
A billion tiny islands in the ocean
All these characters I dream
Variations on a theme
Variations on a theme
Variations on a theme

Holding on for dear life
Holding on for dear life (like everyone else)
Holding on for dear life (like everyone else)
Holding on for dear life (like everyone else)
Holding on for dear life (like everyone else)
Holding on for dear life (like everyone else)
Holding on for dear life (like everyone else)
Holding on for dear life (like everyone else)
Holding on for dear life (like everyone else)
Holding on for dear life (like everyone else)
Holding on for dear life
Holding on for dear life