Half-Decade Hangover

Wonder how I didn't die
This is not my life, I'm no survivor
I only happened to survive
Wonder how I sleep at night

Well I count pink elephants, blessings, and skeletons
Down the days I have left, with one eye open
That was me screaming, "Bitch, I am reality"
Then stumbling off to lose myself in a brown paper bag 'cause me and
Sweet Evan Williams got a date down on Avenue A
Staving shakes, scraping change 'til daybreak
Turns out anyone can eat out the trash
Then wake up on the freeway mid-crash

I was drunk when I made my bed
Now with a half-decade hangover I lay down in it
What have I done? Don't know what I've said
It's a half-decade hangover, either this, in jail or dead
It's a half-decade hangover, Jesus Christ, my aching head

Waste not, want not borrowed time
Lender knows I've tried to make it right
Give back my life, and if not
Take it, 'cause lately I been thinking maybe I could
Take it or leave it, if I can't at least break even
Then I'm leaving when
I been feelin' this awful since I hit bottom and
Said, "Hand me my shovel, I'm going in"

Oh brother. Man, you call that recovered?
Tripped on a couple steps and collapsed on the stairs
Broke my neck on the backs of those who I've hurt and scared
Like it's a good thing you said, "You've got your whole life ahead"
Oh great, another half a century to live to regret
I'd rather be anybody else instead

'Cause I was drunk when I made my bed
Now with a half-decade hangover I lay down in it
What have I done? Don't know what I've said
It's a half-decade hangover, either this, in jail or dead
It's a half-decade hangover, Jesus Christ, my aching head

Sober, but so much still hangs over
Please believe me when I say I've poured my whole past down the drain
Say that a second chance is a chance I can take
But I can't make amends for things I can't remember
I can only say I'm sorry and occasionally pray
Guess you'll just have to take my word that I've changed
After 1,825 days

I was drunk when I made my bed
Now with a half-decade hangover I lay down in it
What have I done? Don't know what I've said
It's a half-decade hangover, hand me my ibuprofen
It's a half-decade hangover, Jesus Christ, my aching head