Invocation and Instructions to the Audience
1st ACTOR:
Gods of the theater, smile on us.
2nd ACTOR:
You who sit up there stern in judgment,
Smile on us.
1st ACTOR:
You who look down on actors...
And who doesn't?
Bless this yearly festival and smile on us.
1st ACTOR:
We offer you song and dance.
2nd ACTOR:
We offer you rites and revels.
We offer you grace and beauty.
Smile on us for this while.
1st ACTOR:
Gods of the theater, smile on us.
2nd ACTOR:
You who sit out there stern in judgment,
Smile on us.
1st ACTOR: 2nd ACTOR:
We offer you song and dance.
We offer you rites and revels.
We offer you gods and heroes.
We offer you jokes and insults,
We offer you paeans and pageants, We offer you
Bacchanals and social comment. Bacchanals and social comment.
Bless our play and smile.
1st ACTOR:
Yes, but first, some do's and don'ts. Mostly don'ts.
Please don't cough,
It tends to throw the actors off.
Have some respect for Aristophanes
And please,
Don't cough.
Don't say "What?"
To every line you think you haven't got.
And if you're in a snit
Because you've missed the plot
(Of which I must admit
There's not an awful lot),
Still, don't
Say --
2nd ACTOR:
What?
1st ACTOR:
If you see flaws, please,
Don't drop your jaws, please.
No loud guffaws, please,
When actors enter late.
2nd ACTOR:
When there's a pause, please,
Lots of applause, please.
And we'd appreciate
You turning off your cell phones while we wait...
1st ACTOR:
Unbelievable.
2nd ACTOR:
Unbelievable.
1st ACTOR:
I think it's you.
2nd ACTOR:
Hello? This really isn't a good time.
I said, this really isn't -- can you hear me now? Can you hear me now??
1st ACTOR:
Don't go "Oh,"
Each time you see an actor that you know.
And if you have to use the lounge below,
Don't wait until we're halfway through the show,
Especially if you're sitting in the middle of a row.
2nd ACTOR:
No smokes, no chow --
1st ACTOR:
Unwrap the candy wrappers now.
When we are waxing humorous,
Please don't wane.
The jokes are obscure, but numerous --
We'll explain.
2nd ACTOR:
When we are waxing serious,
Try not to laugh.
1st ACTOR:
It starts when we get imperious,
And if you're in doubt, don't query us,
We'll signal you when we're serious --
It's in the second half.
2nd ACTOR:
Do not intrude, please,
When someone's nude, please.
She's there for mood, please,
And mustn't be embraced.
1st ACTOR:
If we are crude, please,
Don't come unglued, please.
Let's not be too strait-laced --
The author's reputation wasn't based
On taste.
So please, don't fart --
There's very little air and this is art.
And if you feel offended,
Don't lose heart.
2nd ACTOR:
That's what the man intended.
He was smart.
When everything's up-ended,
We can all depart.
And now...
But first --
We start.
Gods of the theater, smile on us.
2nd ACTOR:
You who sit up there stern in judgment,
Smile on us.
1st ACTOR:
You who look down on actors...
And who doesn't?
Bless this yearly festival and smile on us.
1st ACTOR:
We offer you song and dance.
2nd ACTOR:
We offer you rites and revels.
We offer you grace and beauty.
Smile on us for this while.
1st ACTOR:
Gods of the theater, smile on us.
2nd ACTOR:
You who sit out there stern in judgment,
Smile on us.
1st ACTOR: 2nd ACTOR:
We offer you song and dance.
We offer you rites and revels.
We offer you gods and heroes.
We offer you jokes and insults,
We offer you paeans and pageants, We offer you
Bacchanals and social comment. Bacchanals and social comment.
Bless our play and smile.
1st ACTOR:
Yes, but first, some do's and don'ts. Mostly don'ts.
Please don't cough,
It tends to throw the actors off.
Have some respect for Aristophanes
And please,
Don't cough.
Don't say "What?"
To every line you think you haven't got.
And if you're in a snit
Because you've missed the plot
(Of which I must admit
There's not an awful lot),
Still, don't
Say --
2nd ACTOR:
What?
1st ACTOR:
If you see flaws, please,
Don't drop your jaws, please.
No loud guffaws, please,
When actors enter late.
2nd ACTOR:
When there's a pause, please,
Lots of applause, please.
And we'd appreciate
You turning off your cell phones while we wait...
1st ACTOR:
Unbelievable.
2nd ACTOR:
Unbelievable.
1st ACTOR:
I think it's you.
2nd ACTOR:
Hello? This really isn't a good time.
I said, this really isn't -- can you hear me now? Can you hear me now??
1st ACTOR:
Don't go "Oh,"
Each time you see an actor that you know.
And if you have to use the lounge below,
Don't wait until we're halfway through the show,
Especially if you're sitting in the middle of a row.
2nd ACTOR:
No smokes, no chow --
1st ACTOR:
Unwrap the candy wrappers now.
When we are waxing humorous,
Please don't wane.
The jokes are obscure, but numerous --
We'll explain.
2nd ACTOR:
When we are waxing serious,
Try not to laugh.
1st ACTOR:
It starts when we get imperious,
And if you're in doubt, don't query us,
We'll signal you when we're serious --
It's in the second half.
2nd ACTOR:
Do not intrude, please,
When someone's nude, please.
She's there for mood, please,
And mustn't be embraced.
1st ACTOR:
If we are crude, please,
Don't come unglued, please.
Let's not be too strait-laced --
The author's reputation wasn't based
On taste.
So please, don't fart --
There's very little air and this is art.
And if you feel offended,
Don't lose heart.
2nd ACTOR:
That's what the man intended.
He was smart.
When everything's up-ended,
We can all depart.
And now...
But first --
We start.
Credits
Writer(s): Stephen Sondheim
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
Link
© 2024 All rights reserved. Rockol.com S.r.l. Website image policy
Rockol
- Rockol only uses images and photos made available for promotional purposes (“for press use”) by record companies, artist managements and p.r. agencies.
- Said images are used to exert a right to report and a finality of the criticism, in a degraded mode compliant to copyright laws, and exclusively inclosed in our own informative content.
- Only non-exclusive images addressed to newspaper use and, in general, copyright-free are accepted.
- Live photos are published when licensed by photographers whose copyright is quoted.
- Rockol is available to pay the right holder a fair fee should a published image’s author be unknown at the time of publishing.
Feedback
Please immediately report the presence of images possibly not compliant with the above cases so as to quickly verify an improper use: where confirmed, we would immediately proceed to their removal.