Dodged a Bullet
Little baby you were brought here through a miracle
And a broken condom
I didn't know sperm carried knives
And somehow you got by the IUD
The diaphragm, the spermicide, and a morning after pill
But if Daddy hadn't been so drunk
And Mommy hadn't run out of batteries
If Daddy pulled out on time
Instead of thinking 'bout Angelina Jolie
Then baby you wouldn't be here
You'd have been wiped up with a towel
Little baby will your new life be a happy one
Or will you make your money
Putting sausage between your buns
Will you be a great man
Who brings peace to all the land
Or the type of guy that lures kids into a big white cargo van
And since you're pretty scary
I'm really glad that you're not mine
And I guess I'm pretty happy
That your mommy cheated on me this time
So go ahead and be
Just as evil as you wanna be
Hell yes, I dodged that bullet and I'm free
And a broken condom
I didn't know sperm carried knives
And somehow you got by the IUD
The diaphragm, the spermicide, and a morning after pill
But if Daddy hadn't been so drunk
And Mommy hadn't run out of batteries
If Daddy pulled out on time
Instead of thinking 'bout Angelina Jolie
Then baby you wouldn't be here
You'd have been wiped up with a towel
Little baby will your new life be a happy one
Or will you make your money
Putting sausage between your buns
Will you be a great man
Who brings peace to all the land
Or the type of guy that lures kids into a big white cargo van
And since you're pretty scary
I'm really glad that you're not mine
And I guess I'm pretty happy
That your mommy cheated on me this time
So go ahead and be
Just as evil as you wanna be
Hell yes, I dodged that bullet and I'm free
Credits
Writer(s): Philip Anthony Johnson
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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