West Side Story (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack): Gee, Officer Krupke (Russ Tamblyn, Jets)

See them cops
They believe everything they read in the papers about us cruddy JD's
So that's what we give them
Something to believe in
Hey you!
Who me, Officer Krupke?
Yeah you!
Give me one good reason for not draggin' you down to the station house, ya punk!
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
You gotta understand
It's just our bringing upkey
That gets us out of hand
Our mothers all are junkies
Our fathers all are drunks
Golly Moses
Naturally we're punks!
Gee, Officer Krupke
We're very upset
We never had the love that every child ought to get
We ain't no diliquents, we're misunderstood
Deep down inside us there is good
There is good!
There is good, there is good
There is untapped good
Down inside the worst of us is good!
That's a touching good story!
Let me tell it the world!
Just tell it to the judge!
Dear kindly judge, your honor
My parents treat me rough
With all the marijuana, they won't give me a puff
They didn't wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leapin' lizards
That's why I'm so bad!
Look, Officer Krupke, you're a real square
This boy don't need a judge
He needs an analyst's care!
It's just his neurosis that ought to be poked
He's psychologically disturbed
I'm disturbed!
We're disturbed, we're disturbed
We're the most disturbed
We're pyschologically disturbed!
Hear ye! Hear ye!
In the opinion of this court, this child is depraved on the account he ain't had a normal home
Hey I'm depraved on account
I'm deprived!
So take him to a head shrinker
You!
Who, me?
Head shrinker!
My daddy beats my mommy
My mommy clobbers me
My grandpa is a Commie
My grandma pushes tea
My sister wears a mustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness gracious
That's why I'm a mess!
Yeah, Officer Krupke, he shouldn't be here
This boy don't need a couch
He needs a useful career!
Society's played him a terrible trick
So, socialogically he's sick
I am sick!
We are sick, we are sick
We are sick, sick, sick
We're socialogically sick!
In my opinion, this child does not need to have his head shrunk at all
Juvenile diliquency is purely a social disease
Hey! I've got a social disease!
So take him to a social worker
Which way?
That way!
Dear kindly social worker
They tell me get a job
Like be a soda jerker
Which means I'd be a slob
It's not I'm antisocial
I'm only anti-work!
Glory Oskie, that's why I'm a jerk!
Yes, Officer Krupke, you've done it again!
This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen!
It ain't just a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside him he's no good
I'm no good!
We're no good, we're no good
We're no earthly good
The best of us is no damn good
The trouble is he's lazy
The trouble is he drinks
The trouble is he's crazy
The trouble is he stinks
The trouble is he's growing
The trouble is he's grown
Krupke, we've got troubles of our own
Gee, Officer Krupke, we're down on our knees
Cuz no one wants a fella with a social disease
Gee, Officer Krupke, what are we to do?
Gee, Officer Krupke
Krup you!