Now (It's Just The Gas) - 1982 Original Cast

Oh boy, Seymour, the things we're going to do to your mouth!
This is gonna be a pleasure, I'm going to want some nitrous oxide for this one
In fact, I'm even gonna use my special gas mask
Hold on, I'll be with you in a moment

Now, do it now!
While he's gassing himself to a palpable stupor
The timing's ideal and the moment is super
To ready and fire and blow the sick bastard away
Now, do it now!
Just a flicker of pressure right here on the trigger
And Audrey won't have to put up with that pig for another day
Now, for the girl
Now, for the plant
Now, yes I will
But I can't

Yessiree Bob, I'm really flying
I'll just take this mask off now and—
Hey! It's stuck!
The mask, it's stuck! Help me get it off, will ya?

Don't be fooled if I should giggle like a happy sappy dope, it's just the gas
It's got me high
But don't let that fact deceive you, any moment I could die
Though I giggle and I chortle, bear in mind, I'm not immortal
Why this whole thing strikes me funny, I don't know!
'Cause it really is a rotten way to go

What we have here is an ethical dilemma
Lest I help him get the mask removed, he doesn't have a prayer
True, the gun was never fired, but the way events transpired
I could finish him with simple laissez-faire

Don't be fooled if I should chuckle like hyenas in the zoo, it's just the gas
It turns me on
But don't let my mirth deceive you, any moment I'll be gone
All my vital signs are failing 'cause the oxide I'm inhaling
Makes it difficult as hell to catch my breath

Are you dumb? Or hard of hearing?
Or relieved my end is nearing?
Are you satisfied? I've laughed myself to...
Death