Parents

No my parents though they're getting older
They're doing the older parent things, right
Anyone have older parents that you're worried about?
Few people, yeah
We have this attorney and he comes and he goes
You know Mr Young he goes
I don't want to scare you
But you are now the executor on their will
Say something happens to them
You're gonna be the one that
Gets the call from the hospital or say
The police
And I am thinking
And I said police, obviously you've seen my parents sir
But I had that mom, I had that mom
She told me, she'd say you know Christopher
I don't care what you're doing
Who you're doing it with
As long as you are safe
And as long as you never call me from jail
Because I'm gonna pretend like
I don't know who you are
Yeah, that is redeeming isn't it thanks mom, right
Well people, I lived up to my end of the bargain
I, never went to jail
Now one night at college
My roommate who couldn't run as fast as me
He, he went to jail
When I said cops and he said what
That was too long of a time, not to start running
You guys are great already man
That's awesome, thank you
So anyways, I am sitting at home on a rare friday night
Where I don't have a show
I'm sitting at home and my phone rings, it says
Ring ring ring ring Wayne Country Sheriff's department
I am sitting there, thinking
Who could these be?
This can't be my wife, she's home with me tonight
She's not out with her boyfriend
Long as she pays her half of mortgage sir, I don't question
You guys, you guys are making me laugh, thank you, thank you
It's great, it's great man
So I pick up the phone and I hear
Hello Mr Young, this is officer Johnson here
With the Wayne County Sheriff's department
I have your mom here
And I'm thinking
Mmmom officer, I don't have a mom, click
Take that
Yeah, right
20 seconds that phones ring again
Ring ring ring ring, Wayne County Sheriff's department
I pick up the phone and I hear
Ha ha ha ha-ha ha ha ha
Ha, Mr Young this is officer Johnson yeah
With the Wayne County Sheriff's department
Uh, your mother tells me you're a comedian
I don't think you're as funny right now as you do
And I hear my momma across the table going
I told him don't quit his day job, he isn't funny
He goes: Mr Young I have you mom here tonight
And he goes: I would like to get rid of her
And I am thinking, now officer
You are the one speaking my language man
I am the executor you have a gun and taser dude
Let's make this happen
Thank you wow



Credits
Writer(s): Christopher Henry Difford, Francis Dunnery
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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